Friday

Making new friends, advice for Matthew and Ashley


The challenges with moving to a new town, is making new friends. I have extended my friendship to several people and not all of them, took. 

Making new friends is sort of like dating, you don't know the person on just first impressions. I waited 3 months before I extended my time to strangers and spent some moments in time with people, just to see how we clicked together. 

Everyone has something they are interested in, or like to chat about. I do my best to avoid gossip.

My tips on making new friends:

Tip 1. Talk about current events, but instead of re-counting the event. Say how the event impacted you. Points to remember, keep your opinions simple, as much as we don’t like to think about it, our every word is being judged by the person you are talking to.

Example: This week was Shark week, and it is also the first time, I actually watched and made an event out of shark week. (How did it impact me?) I learned new facts about sharks, and that I am super scared of sharks, yes, even after all the documentaries from shark week. Talking about what I learned gives me an opening conversation starter.

Tip 2. Be open to potential friend material. Here are the (soft) rules I implemented. I asked myself, are they law abiding, do they smoke, and lastly, do they have a clean and pleasant appearance, Will I be embarrassed to be seen with them in public? (Have they bathed in the last 24 hrs, did they comb their hair and brush their teeth, regardless of how old or style of their clothes, are their clothes clean and tidy) Non-smoking is a must for me.

Tip 3. Always remember to use your manners, you know the basic never fail social rules you learned in grade school.

Tip 4. If the person you originally asked out on a “get to know me friends outing” doesn't work out, it still might result in a friendship, from the other people they know, a co-worker, relative, and or neighbor.

Last rule, I usually will not invite a stranger into my home until I have known them for about 2 years. (By choice: I live simply, and in a small space, to enter my home is truly seeing into my medicine cabinet and private space.)

The two quote pictures are from me chatting with the husband about the people who didn't turn out to be friends-material and I quoted him. 

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